User blog:Amazamazing/OC Tale Telling: Snow White
credits to Patch for this! I had to separate it into a different blog post because it got way too long, ''and this was just Renegade here's the original post if you'd like to get details of it also this is super long ---- Renegade Charming "Snow White! Oh, I know that one. Like I ''really know that one. My mom always made sure tell me and my siblings about it, and how our cousin Daring was destined to be a part of it. She never really told me my story. Apparently it's too mature. Psssssh. Snow White can be pretty mature too. Have you read the ending? I did. I read my own story too. I can handle mature stuff. (A/N: no you cannnnnnnt) Anyway, there's this king and queen who have a child with black hair, red lips and pale skin. Kinda like Rising. Perfect. The queen dies after that, I think. Lucky Snow White. No siblings for her. But then again her new stepmother is mean and horrible to her so I guess... she's... not lucky. Also does her father die? He isn't mentioned again after this, but the story I read never said he died. Maybe he just realized he made a bad decision marrying his new wife and locked himself away out of embarassment. Marrying her was a very bad decision. I mean they call his wife the Evil Queen. But she isn't really evil. Yet. She's just super vain and narcissistic and self-absorbed. Like my other sister Revolutionary. But that doesn't make her evil. I guess Vain Queen just doesn't have the same ring to it. They could have called her Jealous Queen at least. I mean, Snow White is prettier than her and she knows Snow White is prettier than her. And she can't handle that so she dresses Snow White in rags and makes her clean things. Then she consults this magic mirror and asks who the fairest one of all is and as long as the mirror says that she's the fairest, she's happy. Side note, when did women stop being called fair? Does that still count as a compliment today? Hey baby you lookin' so fair tonight. Ah. Anyway. Wouldn't it have been great if the story just kept going like that, but no! We have a plot to thicken. One day the mirror decides to kickstart this fairytale by finally being honest and saying that Snow White is really the fairest. Long story short, Jealous Queen flips out. She hires a huntsman to take Snow White out to the woods and kill her, but apparently the huntsman forgot to put it in his job description that he was very bad at his job. He cuts up a pig's heart instead of Snow White's, because the Jealous Queen was probably not good at anatomy and would not have noticed the difference between a human heart and a pig heart anyway. For the record though, pig hearts are the closest in structure and size to a human heart. Now I dunno what's going on in Snow White's head here but after a spectacularly failed murder attempt, she probably really needs a comforting place to be in. Can't blame her. She decides to just hang out in a little cottage where seven dwarfs live, but I don't know how little that cottage can be. The ceiling can be low, but that's still seven people living there! But I guess it's a good place for Snow to lie low. ... Oh my Grimm. Lie low. And they're dwarfs. Speaking of which, they get Snow White to be a live-in housekeeper so that she can lie low. Good thing the Jealous Queen made her clean stuff up so much. But Jealous Queen doesn't stop there. She just really wants Snow White dead. Gotta get rid of the competition, you know. I think Jealous Queen was an only child. Having siblings teaches you a thing or two about not being the best. She tries to kill Snow White a bunch of times, and fails a bunch of times too. She does eventually succeed. A lesson in determination. She gives Snow that iconic poison apple, and dun dun duuuun Snow White dies. The dwarfs are so sad that their housekeeper died that they put her in this flaming glass coffin. She was too pretty to bury? The logic in that is kinda flawed. If she's dead, she's gonna decompose and that's not a pretty view you wanna keep in a glass coffin. But at the very least, Snow still looks pretty when a prince happens to be riding by. He gets kinda sad that such a pretty girl dies, so he decides to plant a kiss on her. That's kinda gross, right? It's enough to make Snow White come back to life though. And when she does, they go to confront the Jealous Queen... Evil Queen now, at least, since she does have three counts of attempted murder. And one of them succeeded. I dunno what the punishment is for three counts of attempted murder is by now. But the punishment for the Evil Queen is pretty rad. They make her dance in some iron shoes, which must be a witch to dance. To top it off, they make her dance on top off some hot coals, which must also be a witch to dance on, especially in some iron shoes. That's pretty much the mature part of the story. And then the rest of them lived Happily Ever After. Except for the Jealous-slash-Evil Queen. And I don't know about the King, since we never hear about him ever again. The End, I guess. Category:Blog posts